Disclaimer: As applied to all frameworks, research studies and exercises shared on our site, discernment is required. These are tools you can use to can guide your self-exploration journey, but in the case of Johari, let us also remind you that you are so much more than the results of a quiz.
When was the last time you crafted an entire narrative in your head about what someone thought of you?
Maybe it was your manager's one-word email response ("Got it." — how rude). Maybe it was that friend who always takes just a little too long to text back. Or perhaps, it's the grocery store cashier, silently judging your purchase of six energy drinks, a tub of cookie dough, and a frozen pizza—again.
Here’s a fun fact: chances are, your guess is wildly wrong.
In fact, 9 times out of 10* (*not a real statistic), our assumptions about how others perceive us are way off. And, get this, it’s not just because we’re bad at reading minds—it’s because we’re often deeply out of touch with how we see ourselves.
It’s why we’re big fans of the Johari Window. The uncomplicated psychological tool designed to help close that awkward chasm between how we see ourselves and how others see us. There’s also a lesser-known but delightfully brutal version called the Nohari Window, but we figured we'd ease you in.
Grab a seat. It's about to get personal.
The (brief but important) history of the Johari Window
Back in the 1950s, two psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, were researching group dynamics at the University of California. While exploring the ways people interacted, they noticed a big disparity between how people thought others perceived them and how other people actually perceived them. Whats interesting, is that they found that had less to do with our issues perceiving what others were thinking, and more a result of how little we know ourselves. So, they put their heads (and names*) together and created the Johari Window
*(Johari is just a blend of their first names—Joe and Harry. Creativity at its finest).
The Johari Window is a self-awareness tool that helps you figure out what you know about yourself and what others know about you. It's like a personality X-ray. Split into four quadrants it’s designed to make you painfully aware of the parts of yourself that are hidden, misunderstood, or totally unknown.
Above we briefly mentioned the Nohari Window—Johari’s evil twin. While Johari focuses on your positive traits (you know, those warm and fuzzy things people love about you), Nohari is a list of your flaws, blind spots, and those little quirks you’d like to believe others haven’t noticed.
How to play the Johari/Nohari game
- Pick Your Traits: You’ll start by picking 5-6 adjectives from this list of 55 characteristics that you believe best describe you.
- Send it to your people: Next, you send that same list to people who know you—friends, colleagues, family members, and ask them to select the 5-6 adjectives they believe best describe you (don’t tell them what you selected, this is about their perception).
You may want to create different windows for different areas of your life, as the you your friends and family know is likely to differ slightly from the version your work colleagues know (and that is totally ok!).
- Compare Results: The results are then divided into four quadrants:
- Open Area: Traits you and others agree on. "Yeah, I am pretty confident!"
- Blind Spot: Traits others see in you, but you don’t. "Wait… they think i’m tense?"
- Hidden Area: Things you know about yourself but are hidden from others.
- Unknown Area: The mysterious zone. Nobody knows. Not even you. Yet...
- Explore and discuss what came up: Spend time reflecting on the results of your window. What did most people agree on? Any answers that surprised you? Any traits you wish were in different sections? Does it provide a direction for personal growth?
There’s a chance that the people you send yours to may also want to explore it for themselves, so why not discuss your results together afterwards.
If you’re still thinking about that Nohari window.
Repeat, but brace yourself: With the Nohari Window, it’s the same process but with a list of traits that include gems like "incompetent," "arrogant," and "chaotic."
Now, this is an exercise you can do manually, collecting responses by email or message, then plotting on your own drawn out window. Personally we prefer using THIS digital version made by Kevan.
It’s simple, no bells or whistles, but it’s a great way of streamlining the process and keeps things anonymous (which may result in more honest reflections).
How can this help? (besides giving your ego a workout)
Well for one, it makes for some pretty interesting conversations. Are you not curious how your people would describe you in 5-6 words?
In terms of how it might show up in your personal life, here are a few examples:
- At Work: Trying to land that promotion, but you feel like you’re constantly overlooked? Your boss might see you as “quiet” or “self-conscious,” while you think you're being “calm” and “reflective.” If you have the type of relationship with your colleagues where you can talk about things like this - it could be a great exercise to bring to your next work review.
- In Dating: Ever wonder why your relationships keep falling apart after three months? What you’d describe as “independent,” your partners might experience as “cold”, “distant” or “uninterested”.
- Personal Growth: If you’re serious about becoming a different version of yourself, the Johari and Nohari Windows can give you a roadmap. Seeing the gap between how you see yourself and how others see you can provide you with tactical steps and clear areas to start exploring.
Whats the catch?
No catch per se, but over the years it has come under fire due to the fear it may result in self-fulfilling prophecies. For example, if you discover that your friends perceive you as “lazy” are you then more likely to lean into that laziness? Maybe! But the opposite may also be true. If positive, constructive traits are identified, will that give you the boost to own and lean into those more?
This exercise won’t change who you are, that job is all you. What it may do is point at some areas that may be good places to start - and then the work (your work) begins.
In Conclusion: Embrace the window
The Johari and Nohari Windows are like holding a mirror up to yourself, but the reflection isn’t just you—it’s you through the eyes of others. It’s humbling, empowering, and maybe just the nudge you need to stop telling yourself those half-baked stories about what everyone else thinks of you.
So next time you find yourself convinced that your friend’s 3-minute pause before texting back must mean they hate you… maybe pause and take a look through your Johari Window first. You might be surprised at what you find.
Happy exploring!
